I am not mind

but I experience it !

EGO

I happen to ran into movie “Revolver” thinking that it’s B grade action movie.

I was surprised to find it’s indeed a great spiritual journey, psychologically in depth movie. Without much ado, I would like to present some of dialogs and quotes from the movie. Movie quotes are numbered, my explanation on them follow right below them. It get better idea, I have added few words in brackets of dialog or quote to understand better.

What is ego

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1. “The greatest con that you ever pulled, that making you believe that he(EGO) is you.”

Recognizing that you are not your mind/ego. It is pulling the greatest con of creation. However you can NOT recognize it just reading books or blogs, you should experience it by detaching your self from on-going thoughts in your mind.

When a parasite lives on host, host does not recognize that he become a parasite. Host believes he is parasite and acts accordingly. Ego is not a object to recognize in the outside world.

Ego is right in that thought, right now trying to divide and dissect the information on this blog, trying to form opinion out of what you read so far.

2. You know what’s so elegant about this little game (Life).. Jake. Nobody knows where the enemy is. They do not even know he (Ego) exist. He (Ego) is in every one of their heads.  And they trust him. Because they think they are him.

3. if you try to destroy him(ego) to save them. They try to destroy you to save him (ego).

I guess this is the reason, who won the ego (many buddhas from past), not dare to dispute with our egos. Rather they take round about approach, giving you technique/method to beat ego, with out telling you what is the end goal.  If they tell you up front, ego wins. Because you have not recognized the ego yet, you think you are that ego, does not want to see it separately. It makes the progress difficult.

How ego keep wins:

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a. You do all the hard work, I (ego) just help you along. The art is for me to feed pieces to you and make you believe you took those pieces, because your smarter and i (ego) am dumber. In every game and con there is always an opponent and there is always a victim. More control the victim think he has. less control he actually has. Gradually he (victim) will hang him self. I (ego) as an opponent just help him along.

b. formula has infinite depth in it’s efficiency and application, but it’s staggeringly simple and completely consistent. (regarding above formula and applying it on victim)

1. Rule one of any game or con, you can only get smarter by playing a smarter opponent (ego).

2. More sophisticated the game, more sophisticated the opponent (ego).

3. If the opponent is very good, he places victim inside an environment (Earth?)  he can control, bigger the environment easier to control.

4. So the opponent(ego) simply distract their victim (you and me) by getting them consumed with their own consumption (seven sins?).

5. bigger the trick, older the trick, easier it is to pull it. Based on two principles:

5.1 They (you and me) think, that can not be that old.

5.2 They (you and me) think that can not be that big, for so many people to fallen for it.

6. Eventually when opponent(ego) challenged or questioned, it means victim’s (you and me) investment and thus his intelligence is questioned. No once can accept that, not even to themselves.

7. You always find good opponent (ego) in very last place you ever looked (in your own mind).

Destroying the ego

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1. You heard that voice so long (your own thoughts), you believe to be you. you believe to be your best friend. (Recognize that your not mind)

2. Where is the opponent should hide? the very last place you ever look. (in you own mind)

I will stop here. There are different techniques in the world, to turn tables to destroy ego, they are based on same principle of how ego wins.

Giving your own money/things hurts your ego. Donation is the method/technique to reduce the ego. But if it happens with own name recognition or pride, ego is back in the game.

Is this reason we  invented, “random kindness.”?

Anyway, everybody busy with playing game with their own egos, including me. Out of million people, few hundred recognize that they are in game played by their own ego.

Out those hundreds, one or two will win the game. We call them “One who transcended the mind”, in short “Bhudda”.

last but not least:

Wake up Mr. Green

–Wake up ..”Who ever reading this blog”… time to recognize the ego/mind is not you, let go of parasite controlling you.

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Let it go ! Let it go !

Each moment our biological senses captures a lot of information and pass it to our primary sense the Mind. Mind interprets the current information based on past experiences and pass on its new judgement. We react according to our mind judgement. Our reactions (or actions) to deal with situation become a new information for our mind, more we repeat same reactions (or action), more we cement them as belief and these reactions (or actions) are strongly imprint in our mind. A set of actions (or reactions) we repeat become hobby.  At the end, these set of strong imprinted artificial information defines our character.  We also define it as self, thinking that we are mind. If you continue to repeat our hobbies too  frequently, they become addiction.  By this juncture, we lost control on our thoughts, become a slave to our addiction. Continuation of addiction may lead to greediness. At this point we do not need reason or logic to understand why we need to do what we have been doing. You do things just for sake of doing, which brings temporary pleasures.

The process of mind capturing the information and passing judgement based on our past hobbies happens several thousand times a day. As long as our senses are awake, this continue to happen. When we go to sleep, mind still active and rehash our intense experiences, feelings and create dreams. Dreams do not have logic, they are simply based on intense feelings and emotions you stored in your mind.  Dream is a manifestation of our own intense feelings and emotions.

Mind continue to store these memories one on top of another like a stack, which does not have any size limits, let’s call it “memory stack”. Oldest memories are at the bottom of memory stack, newest memories are at the top of stack. When we do nothing, memory stack pop the intense memory from top of stack.  That is the reason why, you remember the recent thoughts first than older thoughts.  However the moment we get thought, we do not let go off it. We possess that thought  or become the thought, our old hobby of reacting to judgement of mind starts. If you simply observe the thought and not to react at that moment, thought becomes weak, next intense memory on top of stack pops up. More you show patience and continue to observe thought after thought with out reacting to it, this will also get weaken. Weak thought will comes back like a guest, we should be careful not provide the food to it, by add emotions,feelings, physical action or mental action on it. If we do not, it will get further weaken. After few repetitions (or visits) of weak thought, due to lack of conditions, thought will vanish out of stack.

Best way to see it is, before you go to bed watch out last three topics mind thinks about, the moment you awake up, check the topics of thoughts. You can find that, mind start picking topics of thoughts you left last night. Due to less intense emotions and feelings in early morning, thoughts feel lighter, easy to let go off them. Now we know why we feel better, positive and happy after good sleep. How do we get rid of this stack, if not at least some of the memories on it?  We can get rid of them by letting go off them.  Yes, we get hook to our memories, as long as we entertain them by indulging in thought after thought on same feelings, mind continue fill the stack.

iamnotmind

Thought is like a virus. Virus does not die, it comes alive when ever there is favorable conditions, virus does not live by itself, it lives on host and becomes the host. So is your thought. Things act as fuel to the thought are:  emotions, feelings, logic, reaction, judgement etc.  Awareness helps to improve the watchfulness, concentration helps to keep you in this moment. Using our awareness and concentration, we can watchful of our thoughts and watchful of our reactions. When we let go off those emotions, let go off those feelings, let go off those negative reactions, thought automatically vanishes. There are plenty of tools you can use to master the watchfulness, by default you have one important tool, called “life”. Other tools are: practice of meditation, prayer, forgiveness, gratitude, empathy, service to people around you etc. what ever tool you choose, start using it today.

I agree, it’s not easy task, but there is no escape to avoid this stack you carry life after life. It’s is invisible burden we continue to carry. Just the way sleep does not end the mind, death does not end the mind. You start where you left in next life. Feelings, Emotions and Judgement are fuel to the thought, let us not fuel those thoughts, let them go !  practice forgiveness.  Remember, thoughts are temporary, they are like passing clouds, they are like paper tigers. You are the one making them real.

Wait a second, one more important thing, you can still hide the old thoughts with new happy thoughts, it does not mean your old thoughts go away, you simply add layer of happy thoughts in stack, it’s like adding good scent to existing bad odor. There is no escape, at the end you still need to throw away that dead rat causing bad odor, adding good scent is only temporary deception.

Remember, remember, here now! current moment. Let go off past, Let go off future, Let go off  judgment. Let go off passing thoughts.

Let it go! Let it go!

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Pleasures are not Happiness

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We are made of biological bodies. Bodies made of biological sensors. We were told we have five senses. Those five senses are in our body parts.

  1. Vision through our eyes
  2.  Smell through our nose
  3.  Listen through our ears
  4.  Taste through our tongue
  5. Touch through our skin

We experience whole world through these five senses.  When world gets in touch with our senses, we experience the world.

We choose to listen to a song,  which is pleasure to us. Does my ear simply capture sound or they listening ?. We know, ears are needed for listening but they do not listen, we listen. When sound meets the ear, ear generates the sound sensations, which are interpreted by our mind. That completes the listening. if anything broken in this process, listening does not exist.  When mind wander while listening, you are not listening, but sound may exist.  When our ears does not capture sound, your are not listening, but sound may exist.

We entirely depend on our senses to experience the sensations generated by them. We categorize these senses as what we like and what we do not like. Visual sense is more tricky, the moment we see something, sensations arise reaches the mind, vision establishes.

Pleasant sensations are not happiness,  unpleasant sessions are not un happiness. But we decide to categorize that way, how we decide it? We decide it through what our mind says.  Which is 6th intangible sensor we poses, the MIND.

  6. Experience through our MIND.

All 5 sensors are nothing, with out 6th sensor interpreting them and concluding logically. Mind also passes suggestions on our reaction by creating pleasant or unpleasant sensations to rest of body.  Just the way our biological senses reacts to particular sensations from outside world, we react to our own mind reactions. In a way mind is our primary sensor, that is why we all  believe 5 senses are working perfectly in our dream,  even though they are shut down during our sound sleep. Mind can recreate the exact sensations needed to believe we are listening, we are seeing in our dreams.  This special nature of mind makes us to believe that we are the mind.

Happiness does not need any sensations to experience, when all sensations seize  to exist in our mind, what is left is Happiness.   Just the way we can not experience music without having some degree of silence between notes, we can not experience sensations without having some degree of happiness in between them. When we do not have enough degree of silence between notes, music becomes noise. When we do not have enough awareness to see the happiness between all sensations, we seems to lose happiness.

When we believe temporary as permanent, we try to chase them in our entire life. We depend on our pleasure sensations to avoid or get away from painful sensations. In the end we deceive our selves, believe pleasure is happiness. We forgot to look into our self, understand what we made of. We are not our mind, we are not our sensors, we are not sensations, we are what left, when we take out mind, look beyond it, that is what we are. That is pure happiness.  You will not find it outside, we will only find inside, since your are that ultimate happiness.

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When conditions exist, things arise

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When conditions exist, things arise
— Buddha

When you adopt passing thought as our own, it holds your attention and then you get lost in that thought. When you get lost in your thought, you become that thought.  Once you become that thought, your emotion arises and become fuel for current thought. When your emotions become fuel for thought, you believe your the thought. When you become thought itself, you start seeing more passing thoughts from point of view of current thought. You adopt and become another passing thought. The cycle repeats several times in a second and it happens at light speed. In a second we become many thoughts. We fuel, nurture, become thought after thought. This continues stream of thoughts we labeled as MIND.

Mind does not exist by itself, it arises and experienced when you become bunch of thoughts. When you become mind, you think you are mind. You believe self is the mind and mind is the self.

I am not my mind. Your are not your mind.

We can separate our self from mind through awareness. Awareness arises when we let go of past or future created by our logical mind. When we let go of logic.

Just the way we become thoughts, we need to become awareness by letting go of all thoughts.  This can be done, many human beings done this, whoever done it and gone beyond mind, we called  them as “Buddha”. Gautama is one of those Buddhas.

Our goal may be challenging, but beginning it is half done.

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